Try
by frakkingblerg
Summary: Aftermath of "Breakeven" and "What I Did for Love." Sharon/Brenda established couple.


_"Ever worried that it might be ruined? And does that make you wanna cry? When you're out there doing what you're doing, are you just getting by?…Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame. Where there is a flame someone is bound to get burned. And just because it burns, it doesn't mean you're gonna die. You've gotta get up and try" __**'Try', P!nk**_

Sharon continued to hold the blonde for what seemed like hours, her own tears subsided soon after Brenda's confession. Good news, the younger woman still loved her. But the Captain was unsure of where they stood beyond that revelation. Today was just not going as she'd planned. Sharon would have bet money on a host of other scenarios between the two - a screaming match, some sort of investigation blackballing, or Brenda's infamous cold shoulder. What she hadn't expected was this bathroom breakdown and unfortunately, she was getting a cramp from holding most of the blonde's weight. Not to mention, this wasn't really the time or place to be discussing their personal issues. If anyone discovered them in this rather intimate position, it would get back to Pope in about 2.5 seconds. Adjusting her stance, Sharon attempted to extract herself from the younger woman. Brenda didn't seem very interested in moving, hands still splayed possessively across the Captain back, so she opted for a more direct approach.

"Hey, look at me," breathed the brunette. She felt Brenda's face shift off her shoulder, brown eyes bloodshot. Before the blonde had a chance to speak, Sharon continued.

"We can't do this here, Brenda Leigh."

"When, then," demanded the younger woman, pulling away. That had come out a little harsher then Brenda intended, but she wasn't in the mood to play games. If the brunette wasn't interested in talking about this, she should have never come after her in the first place.

"How much longer is your case going to take?" Sharon could feel the tension settling back in the air. All she wanted was the blonde; she wanted her to come home. Maybe if they could just sit down and talk, things could get better. And she desperately needed them to get better.

"Well, we don't have any leads now. I've got the guys searchin' for some possible witnesses, but nothing's really addin' up at this point…" Brenda walked over to the sinks and grabbed for a tissue, blotting away tears, attempting to make herself more presentable. There was no way she could let her division see her this upset, they would ask too many questions. Turning back, she noticed a touch of apprehension in those green eyes.

"I want you to come home," Sharon blurted out. She hadn't meant to say that, not yet anyway. Cursing herself for the rather impulsive statement, she looked away, not ready for the possibility of Brenda saying 'no'.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Shar." The blonde did want to come back, but not to Sharon's home – she wanted to come back to _their_ home. And until that was a reality, she wasn't going to give in simply because the brunette wanted her to.

"Look, I'm sorry. I should have never said those things. I'm not expecting you to forgive me, not yet. But I can't handle not knowing where you are, whether you're okay. Please come home, I'll sleep in the guest room, on the couch, wherever…I just want you back. Please honey," pleaded the Captain. She needed that woman in her life almost as much as she needed to breathe, and at this point she was not above begging. These past 6 days had been torture, this fight couldn't go on any longer. Just seeing the blonde earlier had broken her heart. Now she had a chance to make things right and she wasn't going to pass on that opportunity.

"Okay," Brenda sighed. She couldn't stay away forever, at some point they were going to have to deal with this.

"Okay, what?"

"I'll come back. It doesn't make much sense spendin' all that money on a hotel room when I could be at our – your home," grumbled the Chief, already deciding that she would claim the bed. Sharon would have to make do with somewhere else, until she was ready. But, at least they would be under the same roof, which was all Brenda really wanted.

"It's our home, Brenda Leigh, you know that. Why don't you go finish up here and take the rest of the day off? You look completely exhausted and I'm sure Pope will understand, especially now. He does always tend to give in when you pout…" Sharon smirked, extending a hand to reassuringly squeeze the blonde's arm. Brenda gave a slight smile at the gesture.

"I guess I could take the afternoon."

"I think I could manage to leave a little early today too …Things are pretty quiet in my department, Elliot can probably cover for me. Did you want me to help bring your things back to the house? We could go this afternoon?" Finally, the brunette felt like things were looking up and just maybe, they had a shot of moving past this.

"No, I'll just grab my stuff on the way to the house. It's not like I have much there anyway. Thanks, though."

"Text me when you're leaving, please? I'll grab us lunch on my way home and maybe we can talk, if you're ready," suggested the older woman. She wouldn't push, but she desperately wanted the opportunity to say how much she'd realized during their time apart.

"Okay." Brenda turned and was heading for the door when Sharon grabbed her arm, pulling her back so they were facing each other.

"Hey...I love you," husked the brunette, leaning in for a light peck. Brenda turned slightly, the kiss landing on her check. Pulling away, she could see the confusion in Sharon's eyes.

"I just need time, that's all. I'll see you in a bit," smiled the blonde, hoping the other woman understood her hesitation to just pick up where they had left off.

Brenda hadn't needed to ask for time…walking into Pope's office, he'd practically begged her to go home. Apparently rushing out of a meeting to puke your guts up warranted a day off. Gathering her belongings, she grabbed her iPhone and, as promised, sent the Captain a text.

_To: Shar_

_Hey, I'm leaving now. I should be at the house within the hour. _

Texting that simple statement had been much more difficult than the blonde expected. Initially she'd typed '_I should be home_', then '_I should be at our house_'…but it all felt wrong. While she didn't doubt they could reconcile, there was still a gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that Sharon may never completely accept her. If she couldn't even write a simple text without worrying what she might be implying, did they honestly have a shot at forever? Throwing the phone into her purse, she headed for the door, not bothering to see if the Captain responded.

Sharon heard her Blackberry ding, signaling a new message. Her things were already packed, she had merely been waiting for confirmation from the Chief that she was, in fact, coming home. After shooting Elliot a quick email to explain her sudden absence (well, it wasn't so much an explanation…more like a serious stretching of the truth), she shut down her computer, locked her office, and dashed out of headquarters.

Almost two hours later, Sharon was sitting in the kitchen, willing her phone to ring. She wasn't sure how much longer she could take, there was still no sign of the blonde. And if she didn't reappear soon, or at least answer her phone, Sharon would be forced to call in a missing officer's report. That would get back to the brass in a matter of minutes, and the brunette was unsure how she would explain her way out of that situation. Not that it mattered now. She picked up her phone and speed dialed the blonde again, hoping this time she would pick up. Was she okay? Had there been an accident? Or had she merely changed her mind and decided to stay away forever? Sharon couldn't blame her, it seemed she had certain knack when it came to relationships. The Captain was quite skilled at pushing people away, keeping them at arm's length, protecting herself from the eventual fallout. She let out a sigh, Brenda had 30 more minutes and then she would be calling the police, Pope be damned.

Brenda had been driving around LA for the better part of an hour and a half. Getting her things from the hotel had been easy, she didn't have much there. Everything hadn't hit her until she was a few miles away from their (correction, Sharon's) home. Here she was, nearing 50, and living with a woman (_that woman_ to be exact) who resisted almost every step they took as a couple. Should she go back? Keep driving? If she did return to Sharon, was this arguing and pushback really what she wanted the rest of her life to look like? While she did enjoy a challenge, she didn't want to spend the rest of her days fighting with the person she cared about the most. So maybe it was better if she just turned around, moved on. As she pondered what to do next, she heard the faint sound of that very ridiculous song playing softly from her car speakers and couldn't help but smile.

_'to the left, to the left, everything you own in a box to the left…'_

The blonde flashed back to one of her and the Captain's first outings together as an official couple. After a particularly brutal investigation, Sharon had surprised her with reservations to her favorite Italian bistro. Tucked away in the outskirts of LA, they had enjoyed a lovely meal and some light footsie under the table. Not wanting to go home quite yet, they stumbled upon a local pub and decided to head in for a couple of drinks. After a few glasses of wine, they noticed the bar was nearly empty. Sharon decided they needed some better music now that they were basically alone, and headed toward the touch screen jukebox. Once she had made a few selections, she sat back down on the stool and shot the blonde a mischievous grin. Then _that song _came on. As soon as Sharon heard it, she'd grabbed for the blonde and whisked her on to the bar's pseudo dance floor. Apparently the Captain loved Beyoncé and they had spent the next few minutes making complete fools of themselves, Sharon singing along and showing Brenda when to point left. The brunette had never looked so beautiful. It had been the first time the younger woman had seen that side of Sharon, the fun-loving, often ridiculous, free spirit. As much as the older woman drove her crazy, she couldn't deny how happy she made Brenda and how perfectly their imperfections fit together. It would take time, but if there was a chance to live happily ever after with the woman who had sung 'Irreplaceable' wildly off-key in the center of a dive bar, she would take it.

The second Sharon saw that Crown Vic pull into the driveway she bolted out the door. She didn't even give the blonde a chance to grab her things before pulling her into a fierce embrace.

"Where were you?! I was worried sick. Didn't you get my calls? I was about five minutes away from calling in and reporting you missing. And you know, if Pope had found out…" Brenda didn't give the other woman time to finish before crashing their lips together for a passionate kiss.

Sharon let out a small moan at the contact, she'd missed their psychical connection. But the younger woman still had some serious explaining to do, she couldn't just run off and not answer her phone. Reluctantly, the brunette pulled away but still kept her hands around Brenda's small waist.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinkin' and I must have lost track of time…"

"You couldn't answer your phone?" Sharon was trying to be angry at the younger woman for her reckless behavior, but she couldn't help the smile slowly creeping across her face. She was ecstatic Brenda was home.

"I didn't really feel like talkin'," confessed the blonde.

"Well, next time you don't feel like talking at least let me know you're okay. Promise?"

"Promise. So what's for lunch?" Brenda just noticed how hungry she was, hopefully the Captain had picked up something good.

They spent the rest of the day enjoying each other's company. Neither really wanted to talk about the past week, instead they opted for a little cuddle time on the couch. Before long, it was almost 10 and both women were completely exhausted.

"I think I'm going to head up to bed, its been quite a day. I'll see you tomorrow and I'm so glad you're back," husked the brunette, planting a light kiss on Brenda's lips.

"Night, baby," chirped the blonde, still somewhat distracted by the _Millionaire Matchmaker_ episode they were watching.

Not wanting to make the blonde uncomfortable or push anything, she padded to the guest room after grabbing an oversized t-shirt from her dresser. She hadn't slept much this past week. And even though they weren't sharing a bed, at least Brenda was home. That thought alone helped the brunette succumb to sleep in a matter of minutes.

Brenda trudged up the stairs toward their bedroom a half hour later, turning off the television and lights as she went. Quietly opening the door, she didn't expect to find an empty bed. While they hadn't exactly talked in great detail about what happened, the blonde knew Sharon was sorry. Between the amazing lunch, special dessert Sharon had bought 'just because', kisses, and cuddling, the brunette had expressed her apology. Brenda didn't think there was much else to say. Changing into her favorite pajama pants and a tank top, she crossed the hall toward the guest room. There wasn't any point in coming home if they weren't even going to stay in the same room.

The bed shifted, and Sharon felt the blonde's body against her back.

"Hey, I thought you were going to sleep in our room?" mumbled the brunette, turning over to face Brenda.

"Well, that didn't sound like much fun considerin' you weren't there with me." Brenda lightly kissed the older woman, who was obviously still half asleep.

"I missed you. And I'm sorry…for everything. Don't leave me again, okay?" Sharon pulled the blonde closer, resting her chin in the crook of Brenda's neck.

"Don't worry baby, I won't," sighed the younger woman. Here, in Sharon's arms, she was finally able to relax. As angry as the brunette had made her, she would never leave. This was exactly where she needed to be, no fight would ever change that.

"Hey – remember how you hooked up my iPad thingy to your computer? Well, I might've deleted some stuff, in the heat of the moment, and I was hopin' you had it saved on that soft drive or whatever you call it?"

"Brenda Leigh…" moaned the older woman, flipping over toward the wall. She immediately felt the blonde cuddle into her, Brenda taking the rare opportunity to be the big spoon.

"Lookin' at those pictures was makin' me more upset," Brenda whined, before placing a kiss on the brunette's shoulder.

"Tomorrow I'll add all the pictures and whatever else you deleted back. Good thing I'm not quite so impulsive, otherwise we would have nothing left between us," teased the older woman before letting out a rather large yawn.

"Hey, go to sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up," whispered the blonde.

"I love you, Brenda Leigh Johnson. And don't you ever forget it."

"I love you to, baby," smiled the blonde. They would make it, Brenda was sure of it.

_A/N Thanks for going on this three part adventure with me! I'm a sucker for a happy ending, it was destined to happen. As always, thanks for comments, reviews, favorites, etc. I'm always trying to improve. xoxo_


End file.
